Martha's Trending at 83 - While You're Still Overthinking That Text

File Under: Zero Fcks Given

When I first started going for it with The Donas, I quickly realized that very few people were asking how they could support. Nope. They had one very pressing question: "How are you going to make money off of this?" Cool, no pressure. And then, there was that person with the company named after himself who asked, "Don’t you think you’re making it too much about you by naming it The Donas?” ahhh the irony.

At the time it seemed no matter what answer I gave, it didn't stop them from having three more questions in the cannon. How do you explain something that’s still evolving—something you're still figuring out? Especially when it sort of took on a mind of its own. At that point I was doing what felt obvious to me. But because I wasn’t confident enough back then to just sit with the discomfort, yes..their discomfort. (I hated silence). I for some reason convinced myself I was responsible for their happiness. Yeah, that was me back then. A lot has changed.

I didn’t realize that the people who needed the most convincing probably shouldn’t have been there in the first place. And also in fairness “it’s a vibe” isn’t an answer. The universe was doing me a favor by putting me in uncomfortable situations, but I was too caught up in everyone else’s opinions, and thinking I had it all wrong.

The more I followed my own path, the more people needed me to provide the answers.

I was in flow, I should’ve stayed there.

Right here in my creative bubble, but nope—I let more voices in. "You need to focus on this. You need to niche down." Meanwhile, my brain was like, “Does no one else just do things because they’re having fun? Is everyone at home watching the bachelor? Why can’t I just be content with a Thursday happy hour like everyone else? WTF is wrong with me?”

Instead of tuning them out, I did something worse: I turned them up, I convinced myself they knew better than me about something they couldn’t even understand. I let it fuel my self-doubt and, well, it got overwhelming. Very overwhelming. And it all almost knocked me off course.

Until it didn’t.

I finally asked myself - What’s the deal baby girl? Are you doing this for yourself, or to impress everyone else?

I started to talk back to that little nagging voice. I even gave it a name.

And this week, I want you to do the same.

Name it. And when it shows up, tell it: “Not today, honey bunny!”

Take that voice & the self-doubt and tell it to chill the fuck out.

I named my little killer of the vibes “Dan,” and I still have to tell him to chill every now and then—but way less than I used to.

I know that voice means well... sort of. I know those people mean well... but they usually have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about. You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone. [Unless of course you’re on a self harming, self-sabotaging crash course]. But if you’re in no danger to yourself or others, no one needs the blue print or the grand plan. Except the architect doing the build out on your corner office. Then by all means.

People will always want answers, but ask yourself: Why do they need them right now?

Self-doubt doesn’t make you weak. We’ve all been there—questioning ourselves, our choices, our purpose. And it’s okay.

The thing is Self-Doubt—will continue to be the uninvited guest. The one that shows up right when you're about to level up.

And that bitch is loud, she’s persistent, and she’s got a lot of audacity. She can make even the most confident person second-guess their own moves. She knows no prisoners - Trust me - I’ve spent a lot of time with comedians, athletes, and artists. Instead of letting her crash their whole party they face her head on. Well anyone who has some success does.

They have all learned how to get comfortable with the discomfort. Comfortable with other peoples silence. Comfortable with other people not getting them. Or it. And all of that has made them stronger. More refined. Better at their craft & on top of their game.

And while all the keyboard warriors are sitting at home questioning them - they have built empires.

They’ve given us the 40 shades of foundation we needed, when all we wanted was the next album.

Rihanna didn’t show up uninvited to the party, she threw it. She still hasn’t given us that album but she did serve us Fenty. She wasn’t saying “Look at me” she was instead holding up the mirror and reminding us “Look at all of you”.

She’s never claimed to be perfect, instead she reminds us she’s still human and we can count on her to be herself. (even when it’s not giving us what we want). The woman who shuts down Sephora with a launch, was once hesitant of venturing beyond music. Crazy huh?

Need another example? - my fav Martha Stewart: If you haven’t watched the documentary you should - but finish reading this first.

If you follow me on IG you already know how I feel about Martha.

She started this whole “let’s play house and get paid for it” thing after leaving Wall Street. Then around 40+ she decides to give home economics a rebrand. She builds a crazy successful business, goes to jail, gets out, and comes back like “oh you thought I was over?" and keeps growing her empire. She ends up becoming the first self-made female billionaire in the United States. The woman is a masterclass in reinvention and not entertaining self doubt or other people’s opinions. According to her she has never had imposter syndrome - she doesn’t have time for it.

At over 80 years old, she’s still out here, launching new products, eating escargot with Snoop Dogg (don’t even try to understand that relationship), and taking drunk selfies in the pool after too many spritz’s. Shes unhinged and Im here for it. She doesn’t doubt her age, or her abilities, and she shows off her legs whenever she can.

You see my friend, self-doubt & other people’s expectations shouldn’t be a villain in our stories; it’s just another supporting character. While wild annoying sometimes - it’s also good for the plot.

In my case when I stopped trying to “kill off” Dan and instead told him to come to the party - I freed up so much more of my bandwidth. I acknowledged that this thing was gonna be here in the room with me and as long as he didn’t change the music and left me alone - we would all be just fine.

How do you Separate Your Self-Doubt from Fear? or External Influences?

Ok, Yes- Self-doubt can feel like it’s suffocating you. It’s that voice that pops up right when you’re about to do something you know is right but also feels scary. You’re like, WTF are you doing here right now? I thought we got rid of you.

That’s your fear honey bunny. And that we can handle.

But if that doubt is more about, “OMG What are people gonna think?”— then that’s someone else getting you to play small. It’s not even your bullshit, so hand it back to them.

Your job is relatively simple: Whenever you're scared or doubting yourself —

Ask - Is this fear even mine?

Because it all comes down to this - Are you more afraid of your own potential, or someone else’s opinions?

Honestly, I’d really love to know….

But until you decide to chime in the chat (studies have show that people find more personal transformation via community) - I’ll leave you with this.

Routines & Rituals for Overcoming Self-Doubt:

1. Journaling Prompt: When doubt creeps in, ask yourself, What am I afraid of here? Then write out the worst case scenario. More often than not, it’s not as bad as it seems.

2. The ‘What Would I Do if I Wasn’t Afraid?’: Write down everything you would do if you weren’t afraid. Write out the BEST CASE scenario if it all worked out.

3. The Mindful Pause: When you catch yourself doubting yourself, pause for a moment—take a deep breath, feel the doubt, hear the voice, identify the intrusive thought and then ask yourself, Is this me talking, or is this someone else?

What if trusting yourself was the key to unlocking everything you’ve been searching for?

Coming Up:

In the upcoming issues, we’re diving deeper into practical self-trust—because building that inner knowing isn’t just about reflection, it’s about action. But don’t worry, it’s not all work. I’ve got mood boards, reccs, recaps, deep dives, and a few surprises lined up for you.

Plus, Plus
The Aligned Mindset Shift is just around the corner! This is my signature yearly Vision Board & Brain Mapping experience, designed to take you from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to aligned and in action toward the life you want to design. PS It will be virtual this year…dates to come.

And one more thing…
Introducing the Art of Self Interview Series: Raw, real conversations with some incredible people who’ve kicked self-doubt to the curb. Together, we’ll explore what it really takes to trust yourself and create a life so authentically you that you would never want to trade places with anyone else.

See you next week,

Donna