Trusting Yourself Isn't A Luxury - It's Necessity
...and if you’re not on board, you’re gonna get left behind.
Housekeeping Items: I’m doing a giveaway at the end of November : It’s for paid subscribers. Also Did you know you can hit “reply” on this newsletter and it will come straight to my inbox?
I worked hard on this one I hope you enjoy it - xoxo Donna
“The biggest mistake people make in a crisis is not knowing that they’re in a crisis.”
That’s stuck with me from the show Scandal (remember that show?)...I wish I had this recall for anything in my academic career but maybe if Western Civ was delivered to me via dramatic political thriller I would have paid more attention. But let’s face it, who didn’t watch Scandal and think, "It’s Handled” after checking off the easiest thing on their to do list.
As a nurse who’s no stranger to dumpster fires and solving other people’s problems like I’m getting paid for it (because, well... I am), I’ve learned how to handle extremes and chaos better than I handle my morning routine. Like the time that one guy didn’t know how a fingerling potato ended up in his butt—and NO, I’m not kidding. Some days, I’m basically the Olivia Pope of the hospital—except instead of a perfectly tailored tweed blazer, I’m rocking wrinkled royal blue scrubs.
Don’t get me wrong, there are definitely days when I’ve had a cry in the bathroom before lunch. But here’s the thing: my ability to make decisions and trust my skills has stayed intact through it all. And surprise, surprise!? Those same skills helped me and ‘Mr. Potato Butt’ figure out exactly how the groceries ended up where they did —real quick."
Now, let’s make this about you, not the dude who went looking for love in his fridge on a Tuesday night.
What does all this chaos and crisis stuff have to do with you, and why should you care?
*Ahem* If last few weeks threw you for a mental/ emo loop— or if your current reality resembles your nieces latest finger painting more than it does Starry Night— I’m here to help you get centered, grounded, and most importantly to trust your intuition. Because as we move forward, there’s one thing you can rely on—yourself. So this month, we’re exploring why trusting yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s an absolute necessity.
Now, before you roll your eyes (or worse hit unsubscribe) - Let’s set some ground rules - I do not know better than you about you. And I don’t want to. But I gotta ask are you currently the President of the “You Fan Club”? Are you on your bullshit and about your business like you know can be? hmmm? Let me be crystal clear—I’m not here to influence you. In my opinion influencing is how we have gotten so fcked up and so far from ourselves in the first place. The dopamine hits, the constant consumption, the Amazon addictions - do you need THAT many Stanley bottles? - we have been I-N-F-L-U-E-N-C-E-D and at no fault of our own. Because even if you’re trying your best - you still might have gotten got by the IG algorithm and bought some lymphatic drainage leggings when you should have been paying attention in that meeting about whatever they were talking about.
But “getting got” is way harder for the outside influencing forces to do when you’re listening to your intuition, your higher self, even living in your authenticity. And while we are at it I’ve never claimed to be pushing ANYTHING that’s gonna solve all your problems. No, no, no. I’m here to guide you—maybe even inspire you at times. I’m trying to provide the laminated cliff notes on how to not end up crying in the shower over some dumb shit that could have been avoided.
PS they are laminated so you can read them in the shower… get it?
**OK, Guess I’ll stick to my day job**
My goal is for you to have a direct line to your higher self and be able to trust what’s coming through that line without it ending up like a game of 3rd grade telephone.
So if you ever feel like I’m steering you in a direction that doesn’t have you checkin’ with yourself first. Or feeling your own feelings. Hit Pause. Go back to the resources I’ve already created, and do what feels right for you. Or peace out all together. Because the best version of yourself is exactly what we all need right now.
Intuition... The Magical, the Mystical... Or a Clear Connection to Your Authentic Self?
Olivia Pope (aka Queen of Crisis Management) wasn’t just throwing around good advice for Nielson ratings…Ok you’re right she probably was. But the lady does have some good lessons for us.
1: Acknowledge The Truth :
When you’re in the middle of a crisis, you often don’t even realize how bad things are because you’re, too busy drowning in it. You can be in denial, be very distracted, or have trouble managing the stress and anxiety altogether—it’s like having a front-row seat to a hurricane but still trying to convince yourself it’s just "a little rain."
2: Absolutes :
You’re gonna need strength, emotional intelligence, and to give yourself grace. Let’s reconsider your stance on absolutes. If you believe in absolutes—you’re sort of selling yourself short. And I’m not talking about absolutes around your boundaries - Im talking about intuition. Unless your intuition is a HARD yes or HARD no - it’s not absolute. It’s a NO for now. Because if you’re tapping into your intuition you have to be open to the fact that things might need to be done differently than how you’re used to doing - you might have to get uncomfortable.
When you believe there's only one path, you're closing yourself off from the most powerful thing you have: your intuition. If you are stuck in rigid thinking you might also never get into the flow that’s meant for you. Your gut’s telling you to think outside the box, but you’re still looking for the box to be real and there. Let your intuition do the heavy lifting.
3: Preparation Instead of Planning :
Yes there’s a difference. Planning is about trying to predict the future, control the outcomes and tie everything up with a nice little bow. But we all know shit doesn't work that way. How many times have you “planned it all out” and the universe was like ..ok cool and went an entirely different direction.
Preparation is about aligning yourself and preparing for what could happen. It’s about being present, grounded, and ready for what might come next. Preparing aligns you with your intuition and trusting yourself to know when it times to launch, or react, or just shut the fuck up.
Oh honey I have the receipts….
And no one gets this more than me - for the last five years, I’ve been all-in on trusting myself and that lil voice. You know the one that tells me to go left when everyone else is going right. I’ve trusted it when I started an online community, a business [and then shut it all down]. Need a recent example - I applied for a job…in finance…when I wasn’t even looking for one..then got it. A month prior I said nope to grad school when everyone including my co-workers and previous boss were all, “But you should be DOING something….If you want to be a supervisor you need to go to school!”
Forget about doing Something—I gotta be doing my thing! And have stakes in my own game and what I feel called to do. And trust me it ain’t being a Supervisor. And yeah all this is all easier said than done. Trust ya girl. Been there. I got stories and receipts for many “fall on my face moments”.
Also let me tell you, people get tight when you make moves for you, “What is she doing?” Insert dramatic eye emojis here. They get even tighter when you fumble or fall and then pick yourself back up. But the truth is, when I trusted my intuition, when I listened to the real me, stopped waiting for someone to come save me and let go of it being this or that or absolute - I became unstoppable. Sure, there are times I falter—we all do. But with every obstacle I overcome I get stronger and more powerful. My intuition gets an upgrade. I start looking at those falls & moments as opportunities to become better and more aligned with me.
Getting distracted and caught up in the falls & obstacles gets you further away from yourself. You become removes from that “higher self broadcast” that you cannot hear because of all the static (aka your coworkers plotting out your life for you because they want someone to be miserable with) - “Misery does love company”. And the truth is you don’t need the noise or distractions - Your answers are already inside of you. Waiting to be discovered or heard. Right now, more than ever, you need to tune in to that inner connection. Not because it’s got the winning combo for lotto, but because it’s how you’ll get through the next few years without losing your mind and yourself.
It’s way easier to do all of this from a grounded and clear vantage point. It’s a leg up to see the city from the mountain instead of the valley. And if there’s one thing you can rely on in the madness of 2024 -to like 2027, it’s yourself.
Over the next editions of The Art of Self, we are finally getting to business and I’m rolling out my plans for this newsletter. I’ll be giving you the tools I’ve used to refine and strengthen my intuition. I’ll be hosting some workshops. We will be going live. I might even make some t-shirts again. But for now we’re talking practices and exercises that’ll help you stop second-guessing yourself and start making decisions that align with your true self.
But Back to Olivia Pope for a Hot Second...
In a crisis, it’s easy to get caught up in the drama. Stress and anxiety make it hard to think clearly. You would never try to thread a needle while riding a rollercoaster, so why are you doing that with your life? Instead channel your inner Olivia Pope. So you can put your hands up and actually enjoy the ride.
Dive Deeper Into This Edition
This month in honor of the 5 year anniversary of The Donas Project - the thing that started me on this little internet adventure. I’m sitting down once again with people who have inspired me, are doing it their own way, or have trusted themselves when everyone thought they were nuts. I’m sharing the the things that have helped me with my own mindset shift and have made me want to show up for myself like I show up for strangers at work and people in my life.
The Donas Project was the first time in my life I really unapologetically followed my gut & passions simultaneously. I didn’t hold myself back trying to make it make sense to people who were never gonna get it in the first place. I did’t consider if I was gonna make money, if I wasting my time, or if anyone was ever going to like it. Or like me.
The truth is I lost a good deal of money on it - but the growth, lessons, connections, and self-confidence I gained has been better than any currency that could have landed in my Shopify account.
Speaking of Intuition & the Art Of Self… Here’s What I’m Thinking We Will See For The Remainder Of 2024
..let me know what you’re thinking
As we move out of this year and further into the new one, I feel we are going to see a move into quiet confidence. Don’t get me wrong there’s gonna be alot of noise - just not in anything I’m creating or curating. If you’re following me I’m trying to keep us focused on intuitive wellness & good dopamine hits.
You’ll see people who once had a lot to say dialing it back - the extroverts might become the introverts. And we will prioritize real self-care choosing to trust ourselves over external validation [you can see this most recently with Mike Tyson’s approach to his recent fight].
In the coming months, we are carefully curating what we consume. We’ll see an even bigger focus on self-leadership, digital minimalism, detoxing, and biohacking. More mindful consumption of media, food, conversation, community, and culture. Trusting yourself is not a trend, it’s a movement back to who you really are and were meant to be.
Trusting yourself is the quiet revolution and if you’re not on board you’re gonna get left behind.
Thanks for reading this far. I’d love to know what you think about all this & how you have dialed down the noise & finally listened to yourself.
-xoxo Donna
“You wouldn’t thread a needle while riding a roller coaster” really hit